DMV Due Diligence

This morning, I dutifully arrived at the local DMV to renew my license.  In all fairness, in South Carolina, this process is only required once every ten years.  You'll forgive me if I have forgotten some of how it all goes down.   I was given the required paperwork and a number.....number 307 to be exact.  Knowing that couldn't be good, I took my seat, completed my form, and waited....and waited....and waited....

Finally I heard the computerized and weirdly sexy voice, "Number 307, we are ready to serve you at Window 8."  Okay, now we are in business.

Dee to DMV Person:  Good morning.  Hope you are having a good day.  I need to renew my license.

DMV Person (not smiling):  Who is your insurance with?

Dee (smiling):  I really don't have any idea.  Luckily, I haven't had to use it....knock on wood.....

DMV Person (not smiling and interrupting):  M'am, I will have to know who holds your insurance.

Dee:  Oh, well that would be George.  (Reaching for my cell), I can call him if you would like to speak with him. 

DMV Person (sighing):  M'am, I can't speak to anyone on your phone.

Dee (beginning to smile less):  Ok, well I will talk to him....Minutes later, we have insurance information.

DMV Person:  You'll need an eye test.  Press the bar at the top of the machine.

Dee (pressing furiously with my finger):  I'm sorry; your machine doesn't seem to be working.

DMV Person:  M'am, press your FOREHEAD against the bar; not your finger.

Dee:  Oh, well I guess that would  work better, wouldn't it?

DMV Person (now seriously tapping his pencil and clearly frowning):  Read Line 5, please.

Dee (reaching for readers)....

DMV Person:  M'am, this is distance reading.  If you don't wear glasses or contacts, you should be able to read it without your readers.  Line 5, please.

Dee (feeling both readerless.... which for me borders on nudity.... and totally intimidated):  Okay, Okay.....PAQ  TRE  YOL  MTV  ODB

DMV Person (still frowning):  You're missing one....

Dee (feeling VERY successful):  Only one....that's pretty good; I am surprised because....

DMV Person (again interrupting):  I MEAN you are missing one out of every group of three.  Would you like to try again?

Dee:  PAQ

DMV Person:  That is NOT a Q!

Dee (looking again):  PAO  TRE

DMV Person (exasperated):  M'am, that is not an R.

Dee (equally exasperated):  P then, is it a P?

DMV Person:  M'am, I cannot tell you if each letter is right or wrong.

Dee (under my breath):  SOB

DMV Person:  Excuse me?

Dee:  ODB

DMV Person:  M'am, are you sure you don't wear contacts?

Dee:  No, are you sure you don't have the slightest sense of humor?  (Alright, alright, Dee Readers, I didn't say it, but I thought it.)

Finally DMV Person (sighing):  M'am, would you step down to the lady at the last counter for your new photo?

Dee (thinking to self,  finally  the opportunity to speak with someone a little more laid back....Geez).  Just as I step up to the appropriate window, the DMV photographer says, "Honey, it's my break time; could you wait just a moment for my relief?"  "Sure," I respond, just as I glance over my shoulder to see Guess Who making his way down to take my photo.

So glad to be wearing my Keller Williams name tag today.  Think he will ever be calling me for a listing?  Oh well, it's only once every ten years.......

When Dreams Die......

It's so hard when dreams die, isn't it?  This past week-end was one of dying football dreams all over the state of South Carolina.  Football isn't just a sport here.  It is almost a religion and most definitely a way of life.  It fosters both love and hate.  It bears pride and shame.  It is nearly indescribable in its wicked hold on the Sandlapper State for thirteen weeks each fall.

South Carolina will get over its almost certain loss at their shot at the SEC East Division title.  Clemson will get over its certain loss at an outside shot at the National Title and their goal of an ACC Championship.  South Carolina's dying dream came amidst a gritty performance by an improving Tennessee team.  Clemson's loss came at home, before legions of Tiger fans, in The Valley they hold almost sacred.

That either team lost was not totally unexpected.  But the way in which the Dreams of the Orange died....that was the surprise.  The Tigers did not even show up.....in their own house.   Over and over silly mistakes, penalties, and miscues doomed Clemson's efforts to get back in.  The truth was it was over, completely over,  just a few minutes into the game.  And the Death Valley crowd knew it.

Some had speculated the team would make their breathtaking appearance at the top of the hill wearing all orange.  It didn't happen.  Some thought the Florida State Freshman Phenom would fold under the pressure of a hostile road stadium and a senior led high energy Clemson team.  It didn't happen....the high energy or the folding.

All day the dream had built......built....built toward a fevered crescendo when the beloved Tigers would finally appear at Howard's Rock.  All day building.... building, and yet something seemed a little different from the Georgia atmosphere of six weeks prior.  Maybe it was the sheer magnitude of what was about to happen....maybe it was everything riding on this one....Divisional Championship, ACC Championship, outside shot at a National Title Game.  Maybe it was the endless pre-game hype.

ESPN Gameday back in Tigertown......Guest Prognosticator Bill Murray tackling Lee Corso for Lee's most unpopular pick of the Seminoles......Press everywhere.....Drew's frantic search to buy a sharpie, just so he could get Tajh's autograph after the game......A frenetic Tiger Walk for Clemson's 'Boys of Fall'.... Band Parade past Johnstone toward the stadium.....massive 'fan jams' at the gates.  Clouds and cool yielding to that orange sun peeking through just in time for gametime.

Suddenly, the moment was here.  Here 'where the Blue Ridge yawns its greatness,' the awaited blue lights appear at the top of the hill.......buses of Tigers chomping at the bit to show what they could do....Tiger Band marching, almost skipping, toward the end zone and the hill........Memorial Stadium aglow in orange....fire batons in air....massive bouquets of orange balloons straining at the seams of the wrappings trying almost hopelessly to contain them.  The crowd was amazing; the stadium nearly shuddered with the weight and tension of the moment.  A thunderous rendition of "We Will Rock You" sung by 85,000 would be musicians.  The cannon fires.  The run down the hill....the roar was "pawsitively" deafening.....kick-off....and suddenly in only minutes....it ended.  The crowd was out. The Tigers trailed by 17.  Flashback to West Virginia two years ago.  This just was not going to be a Clemson night.  A rattled and possibly injured quarterback.  Skill players way off their game.  Defense gashed for big play after big play.  And an opponent the likes of which we had not seen and were not at all ready for.  Who ever would have thought a freshman quarterback and the grandson of the elegant Jack Nicklaus would combine to be the total undoing of the Tigers in their own den on this day when dreams became nightmares?

We will find out who this Clemson team is next week.  We really wanted to know last.

Dreams die so hard sometimes.....