Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know

Several years ago, my stepson Joseph gave Drew a book entitled 50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know. It extolled the importance of such virtues as, "A gentleman does not stop making the best effort halfway through a competition, even if he thinks it is obvious he is going to lose." "A gentleman knows his dad's favorite cologne and his mom's favorite authors." "A gentleman takes off his cap during the National Anthem, during the Pledge of Allegiance, or whenever the American Flag is passing by." And of course, the crucial and all important, "A gentleman flushes every time he uses the toilet."

Chapter 35 is devoted to the imperative skill....how to use chopsticks. According to the book, "If a gentleman feels uneasy about trying to use chopsticks, he asks for a knife and fork instead. He would rather eat his meal without dropping his food than try to use equipment he hasn't mastered yet." Last week-end we took Drew and a few of his friends to Nakato Japanese Steakhouse. As I looked around our table at these eleven and twelve year old boys sipping their soup and successfully, yes successfully, maneuvering their chopsticks, I was amazed at how quickly they are growing up and becoming young gentlemen. There was great conversation and laughter. There were nice manners and smiles. They asked great questions about the customs and the traditions of Japanese dining. I heard lots of please and thank you as they ordered and reordered drinks and dinner. They were absolutely charming. For this, albeit brief, moment in time, they seemed like savvy..... if slightly short.... college students instead of the primary schoolers they are. I truly saw my future....their futures.

Drew was recently asked to construct a biocube for his Eagles class. I was interested to see at age 11 how he would describe himself and what his 3-D autobiography would look like.

The opening sentence of his background was, "I like to play football." His favorite quotation as indicated was, "Protect this House." As his greatest obstacle, and I had to laugh at this one, he listed, "Huge football players." (I believe an.......umm..... 'biopattern' may be emerging.) For personality traits, Drew said, "I am athletic. I am fast. I am entergetic." And yes, he wrote 'entergetic.' I suppose that's an energy that comes from an even deeper place within. But I knew what he meant. And for his significance, Drew wrote, "Being well known as an adult."

So what do I gather about my young son from his biocube....at this particular point in his life, in the days surrounding his eleventh birthday? Much of how he sees himself is defined through sports, particularly football. I love that his biggest obstacle is huge football players. If only that would remain so.

I think my child wants to be someone special; someone well-known. I think he today thinks that may be in sports. I don't know what Drew will do. I, like he, believe he will be successful and special. This Opie Taylor look alike, this lean, lanky boy, this curious, questioning, quirky kid really amazes me with his warmth, wisdom and wit. He still cries but laughs so much more often. And he so often makes me laugh.

Last week, I observed him with his friends in a somewhat grown up Asian setting. I saw yesterday's little boys rising to the occasion. I found myself sighing with pride at who my son is and looking expectantly forward to who he may become.....to the young gentlemen they all may become.

Back to our evening out in Charlotte, as we sat in an after dinner movie and I proudly thought back over our very successful dinner, I had to wonder.....what are those strange and rather obnoxious sounds coming from our theater row? Oh well, perhaps these boys are still a work in progress. Meanwhile, I'll check to see if there is an appropo chapter in the book!