You Say 'Tomatoes'......I Say 'Teenagers'

One of my favorite seasons recently wound to its sad end. No, not summer.....not exactly anyway. I am already missing this past and counting down to next........drum roll, please.....tomato season. There aren't many things better in my book than fried green tomatoes, tomato sandwiches, fresh tomatoes in my salads....shall I go on?

Adriana Trigiani wrote in her novel Very Valentine that "growing tomatoes is all about patience and process." Gosh, Ms. Trig, I never realized the art of growing tomatoes was so similar to growing children. Had I read that quote out of context I would have been uncertain whether it was teenagers or tomatoes the authoress was discussing.

I suppose both tomato plants and children require just the right and oh so important foundation, grounding, if you will, to prevent unwanted acidity or bitterness. Tomato plants often also require just enough of a binding to keep them growing and going in the right direction, but not so much so as to stunt their growth and development. Sound like anyone we know?

There are days and times I know I fail miserably at both the patience and process Trigiani noted as relate to tomatoes. Only barely into Kate's second year of teenagerdom, I find my patience nearly non-existent. I love her so hard it hurts, but often times that just doesn't seem to be enough.

I have such trouble finding balance between reining her in and letting her go. I know she wants to be treated more like a grown up, but when I look at her I still see my little girl. I want to pull in and protect, while she wants freedom and the chance to fly. Much like tomato plants that at times may need a degree of training them upward, I feel a need to direct my teen's growth. The truth be told, I would like to pause that growth....just long enough that is for me to catch my breath and start again.

I saw such a great metaphor in this character's tomatoes. You may have presumed, as I did, that they grew and thrived in some southern vegetable garden or farm. Valentine's tomatoes actually grew on a New York rooftop. The message....well cared for tomatoes (or teens) might flourish in even the most challenging surroundings.

My patch is small.....I am concerned about the job I do with two growing 'plants'. I like to think I have given them every chance to thrive and produce wonderful fruit of their own.....but who can be certain. With teenagers as with tomatoes, can one ever know for sure?