Pom Poms and Passages

This week, my daughter Kate tried out for her school cheerleading squad. She did not make the team. I could not be more proud!

Last year I encouraged her to try out. She did not. I think she worried about whether and how she could contend with her alopecia if cheering. This year she approached me about trying out. I was elated. I saw in her decision yet another indication of her ever growing confidence.

This week also marked a critically important life step for Kate. On Friday she left for a church retreat in preparation for her confirmation next month. Because of the retreat, Kate's final cheer try-out was in absentia, videoed by the coach and shown to the other judges for scoring. I applaud the cheer coach and her willingness to try to accomodate Kate's scheduling problem. I also know trying out alone in this format must have been difficult for Kate.

Kate did not complain. She didn't whine about the retreat and how it impacted her try-outs. She didn't say that she didn't want to go on the retreat. She did the best she could. She told me she forgot part of the dance routine they had learned for competition. I think she knew it had not gone as well as we might have hoped.

I told her about my last cheerleader tryouts. I had been a cheerleader for two years, so when I tried out the summer before my 10th grade year, I thought I was a "shoe in." You know of course where this is going. I did not make the squad. I was beaten out by SG. SG was beautiful, blonde, very talented and athletic. She deserved to make it. I did not. I pouted and cried. I demonstrated little maturity and absolutely no grace. I hurt.

Kate, on the other hand, phoned from her retreat to find out if she made the team. I debated whether I should share the disappointing news while she was away or wait until her return. I chose not to wait and told her that she hadn't made the squad. I held my breath. There was brief silence on her end, then her heavy sigh. She said simply,"Okay." After another brief silence she told me that she loved me and that Lake Junaluska was very beautiful. Her passage from childhood into adolescence has happened so quickly that I forget sometimes what a powerful young woman of both grace and maturity is coming into her own before my very eyes. I wanted to hug her. She didn't really need it. I did.

My Kate.....resilient, resolved. I would want her on any team of mine for her sheer strength and will and buoyancy, for her fabulous smile and great laugh. I told Kate that for now God has a different plan. I hope this week-end helps her find it.